It just so happens that my friend Kathy got Botox-ed. In an effort to fully explore my Road to Gorgeousness options, I decided to perform a little research and inquire into Kathy’s experience-- especially after Cheryl informed me that Botox hurts. (Sadly, I have been diagnosed with a severe case of low pain tolerance. There is no cure.)
However, before I could get in a word about Botox, Kathy immediately launched into her current dilemma: her second job. In an effort to be a little more financially solvent, Kathy began looking for further employment—something that would be a fun distraction from her regular responsibilities. While wandering around town on a rare day off, she happened upon a gift shop specializing in wellness. Picture Hallmark cards and Yankee candles mixed with crystals, dream catchers, and incense. “Ah-ha!” thought Kathy. “If only I could work part-time here. I could make a little extra money and cleanse my chakras all at one time. A place such as this will suck the stress right out of my soul while I set aside a little cash.” Lo and behold, the wellness gift shop was hiring, and she was hired right there on the spot! Serendipity, yes?
Serendipity NO.
The owners are a married couple. Right there, you know this means trouble. They bicker constantly, and the stress of their married life spills over onto the employees who twitch nervously in terror over when the next shoe (crystal?) is going to drop. Despite the couple’s intermittent prayer times and tai chi, they cannot cleanse their colons high enough to bring peace to their relationship. The passive-aggression between them often turns to aggression-aggression as they snipe bitter remarks at each other over the herbal tea rack and self help books.
The situation came to a head on Monday evening when the wife asked Kathy to talk with her in the tiny office at the back of the store while the other nervous wrecks of part time employment manned the floor. The female half of the co-owning couple tearfully explained that she had been wanting to ask Kathy all afternoon to unpack and price some new merchandise but “Kathy’s aura was in a bad place for pricing.” Kathy responded that as far as she knew her aura was fine and, except for a slight case of the sniffles, she was fully able to unpack and price. At this point, the husband came in and the two began arguing while Kathy tried to look busy. When asked to referee their conflict, Kathy uneasily explained that their disagreement may be making the other employees a little uncomfortable (the words “perhaps you might try maintaining professional behavior” may have been used), which lead to them pointing fingers at each other and each storming out of the store in opposite directions.
Clearly, Kathy has to leave this loony bin of a wellness gift shop posthaste, but neither owner has shown up to work since. I suggested she simply leave a note: Your vampire aura is sucking the life out of my chakras. Now mail me what you owe me.
As soon as Kathy gets this little bit of business taken care of, she can concentrate on more important things--like telling me about Botox. Wellness gift shop owners in need of psychological counseling...who knew?
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3 comments:
Been there...cried on the toilet during lunch breaks. Oh, that was two jobs actually. One job, crying on the toilet. Second job, wailing like a banshee in the car in their parking lot. Third job, turned out great.
Tell Kristy to fill her pockets on her way out. Selling fun stuff to me will even out her aura...but I suppose her karma will resemble a train wreck.
oh! that is too funny! That store must be totally off on auras and kharma!
Trish- the price of beauty is not cheap OR painless! We must suck it up and pay up and suffer! Or, just accept it and get old and wrinkly and gray. All gracefully though. :)
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