Subtitle: We need to pray for my sister-in-law.My sister-in-law hates it when I remind her of her age. In deference to her, I will refer to Michelle as “The Sister-In-Law the 30’s Left Behind.” Michelle, like me, is a mother of two boys. When hubby is included, that’s a lot of testosterone with which she must deal. Also like me, Michelle has to put up with many, many male inspired interests. Since Michelle is, um, more advanced in years than I (insert hysterical laughter here), I am learning from her mistakes. I’ve watched as baseball, hockey, computer gadgets, cars, fireworks, videogames, etc. have all made their way through her household. From her experiences, I’ve learned what I should encourage and when I should voice some opposition.
However, I don’t need to wait for Michelle to report back her experiences on this one in order to make some educated guesses as to the outcome. Michelle is (drumroll) going camping. Michelle, who can identify wines by smell and/or taste, who works in the technology industry, who enjoys pedicures and scented lotions is going camping.
For a week.
In a pop-up trailer.
With her husband.
And two teenage males who will in all likelihood turn surly when their Ipod and cell phone batteries run out.
Try to control your giggling.
She started drinking last night in order to prepare. I told her to forget drinking; she should pack some barbiturates. (I’ve never smoked marijuana, but I’ve heard it is medicinal in certain situations. I bet this is one of them. ) And a shovel. A shovel can come in handy when fending off snakes or burying one’s husband, who thought up this whole pop-up trailer camping vacation, by moonlight. (By the way, check out the photo of the camper in my slide show, below.)
Anyone care to make some predictions?
(Dang! I just can't stop giggling! She is sooooooooooo screwed.... She seriously needs our good thoughts. --giggle! giggle! Why can't I stop laughing??)
However, I don’t need to wait for Michelle to report back her experiences on this one in order to make some educated guesses as to the outcome. Michelle is (drumroll) going camping. Michelle, who can identify wines by smell and/or taste, who works in the technology industry, who enjoys pedicures and scented lotions is going camping.
For a week.
In a pop-up trailer.
With her husband.
And two teenage males who will in all likelihood turn surly when their Ipod and cell phone batteries run out.
Try to control your giggling.
She started drinking last night in order to prepare. I told her to forget drinking; she should pack some barbiturates. (I’ve never smoked marijuana, but I’ve heard it is medicinal in certain situations. I bet this is one of them. ) And a shovel. A shovel can come in handy when fending off snakes or burying one’s husband, who thought up this whole pop-up trailer camping vacation, by moonlight. (By the way, check out the photo of the camper in my slide show, below.)
Anyone care to make some predictions?
(Dang! I just can't stop giggling! She is sooooooooooo screwed.... She seriously needs our good thoughts. --giggle! giggle! Why can't I stop laughing??)
7 comments:
Very patient sil checking in! I believe I should get the WIFE OF THE YEAR award for this. Don't you all think so????
Michelle
Well, Michelle, you may need that title when you are standing in front of a judge trying to explain the sudden disappearance of your husband! Believe me, after camping in a pop up camper, the best he can hope for is a ride to the nearest bus stop since he surely won't be coming home with you.
We bought a pop up camper when my daughters were very young. We went camping twice at a place called Jellystone Park. The first time we experienced a local tornado running through the park. The second time, the temps were above 100 degrees and so was the humidity.
When we got home, my husband asked me what he should do with the camper (he wanted to know where to park it since it was obvious it would not be taken out again anytime soon). I told him to sell it, burn it, I didn't care. He opted for the first choice.
I learned an important lesson from that pop up camper: Jewish women should not camp (I think the highlight of the trip was the public showers during which my children wore bathing suits and clogs and were told not to let anything touch them).
Since we're all children of Abraham, there's gotta be a little Jewish blood running though your veins. So, my only advice is...book a room at a hotel that has air conditioning, elevators, room service, and indoor plumbing.
I foresee a moment, like at the beginning of the film Red Dawn, where Marty (Michelle's husband) and the boys don themselves in camo, smear mud on their faces, kill a deer, and drink its blood during some "male bonding" ceremony while Michelle mutters something along the lines of, "I'll pass, thanks," sucks down another valium with a glass of chardonnay, and doggedly continues painting her toe nails.
Sue G
Catholic is very close to Jewish in terms of camping. Have no idea why I said I would do this. Must have been a small stroke.
michelle
Michelle:
Catholic is also very close to Jewish when it comes to guilt...I suspect that's the reason you agreed to do this.
The good news is that after you do it, you can always say you were a good sport...and then never do it again.
Sue
What is this thing you are speaking of? Camping? You leave a perfectly good home that has a comfortable bed to sleep in, running water to keep you healthy, electricity to keep you entertained and at the correct temperature? You travel for miles, struggle to make that aluminum box pop up into sleeping quarters, you have to pack boxes and boxes of food, spend days in the dirt, for what? This sounds like an ancient form of torture. I think you should get them all packed up ready to go and then at the last minute find someway to back out!
Here's where we camped for track day. Michelle, if you're willing to engage in the occasional manly recreation, choose said recreation wisely...
http://www.brainerdraceway.com/lodging/condo.html
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