Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Regrets Only

Regret is a wasted emotion, I’ve been told. And I agree. Why waste good energy on regret when revenge is so much more productive, right? (I kid, I kid! …Or do I??) Still, enlightened though I am, there are a few things I do regret:

  • I regret that I cannot find reruns of Moonlighting on cable.
  • I regret that I haven’t flossed since…um, ever. (I realize some of you are gagging and clawing at your throats right now, but it is true. I never floss. I do gargle and swish with a special medicated rinse, however. I know it’s not the same, but jamming my fingers half way down my throat in order to get those back molars makes me want to hurl. Oh, sure, I’ll tell my dentist, "I’ll start flossing this time, I swear!" But I never do. There are two things in my life that I know I ought to do, but I simply refuse: a. give up coffee and, b. floss. Don’t try to change my mind; it can’t be done. Those are my vices. It is what it is.)
  • I regret that I didn’t discover raspberry-chocolate crème brulee until my mid-20’s. (Just think of all those wasted years eating bland flan!)
  • I regret over-scheduling myself until June.

This last point demands a little explanation. Despite the fact that I know the next six weeks will be amongst the most hectic at work, and my house and yard are desperate for a really good spring cleaning, and my son’s fourth birthday is rapidly approaching (He wants to have friends at this one. Pray for me.), and Mother’s Day is looming large on the horizon (and my mom demands a good present this year after I've "maligned her" in my blog...but--come on!-- she gave my son orange juice after he'd vomited for four days! Did she think I wasn't going to blog about that??), and the baby is at that dangerous just beginning to be mobile stage, and my husband is busy with his job, and I’ve just signed up for classes to finish a second Masters--despite ALL OF THIS I took on assisting with the directing of a local play.

Before you feel the slightest pang of sympathy for me, let me assure you that I am not being completely altruistic—I do get paid
(a couple of cents a minute). Still, this means I have less time for doing something I really, really love: blogging. If you’ve noticed that my posts have dwindled over the last two weeks, this is one of the reasons why. AND I’m not going to find any relief until June. (She typed, as she fell back in her chair and threw an arm over her eyes in consternation and despair.) So, I feel like I’m not being a very good blogger and that I am losing touch with all of my cool blog friends, and I regret that. I regret not being able to return emails and having to rush around all the time and feed my family nothing but fast food (Um, actually this is sort of the norm around here, but I’ll pretend this is due to my recent scheduling snafu in order to not look like a completely lazy mom. After all, Mother’s Day IS on the way, and I don’t want to write myself out of a present... especially since Scott is a little miffed about my “Let. There. Be. LIGHT.” post. He says I exaggerated his electricity hoarding mania. As though it is even possible to exaggerate something like that.) [eye roll] (Ooooh, hang on a second. I'm noticing a theme with people around me becoming annoyed about my posts. Could they possibly have a point about public criticism? Naaaaaaaah!).

So, I send my regrets to you along with a warning that my posts will be less frequent until June. Eh. Life happens, right?

But there is always an upside! A silver lining, so to speak. And here it is: we can take this opportunity to commune over our shared regrets. In fact, it is entirely possible that we can grow closer as we air our dismays. Better, we might even be able to leave go of our laments and move on after our ritual airing of the regrets. Who knows? This thing may catch on! It may become an international holiday: "Regret Wednesday!" I mean, if that Scientology silent birth thing was bought into by Katie Holmes, there is no telling how many people will want to participate in "Regret Wednesday!" All it will take is a little marketing. We'll have to make decorations and start some traditions for our special day. I'm thinking some themed food may be in order, too. And no holiday is complete without a few songs commemorating the meaning of the day. I'm thinking no songs scream regret like "Yesterday" (Beatles), "My Way" (Sinatra), "Me and Bobby McGee" (Janis Joplin), "If I Could Turn Back Tiiiiii-iiiiiiime" (Cher), "Margaritaville" (Jimmy Buffet), and "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone" (Bill Withers).

Possibly you, too, regret the loss of an 80’s television show (New Hart, perhaps??)? Maybe your regret is even deeper than that. Bad hair cut? Bad relationship? That high school year book photo you should have gotten up earlier and prepared for? That pint of Ben and Jerry’s? Those TWO pints of Ben and Jerry’s? Your first time? Your second time? That time you made out with your friend’s significant other? Maybe you’ve yet to discover crème brulee (gasp!)? Go ahead and air your dirty laundry. What is it that’s holding you back? Dump it here. Extra points for pairing a song with your regret.

14 comments:

katina said...

1. I may be one of your blogging friends, but I sure as hell am not cool.

2. I too regret that I cannot find TV shows online. Specifically "Nightmare Cafe" (which starred Jack Coleman, AKA Mr. Bennet in Heroes...which...just re-read point 1).

3. I don't really have a point 3, I just figure it can't be a list without 3 points.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm with Katina on point 1.

I love this post, but I regret to inform you that ... Moonlighting... I always thought that Cybill Shepherd had the absolute WORST on the WHOLE PLANET wardrobe ever in that show!!! (but other than that, I liked it.)

Will have to add more later. And I think you hogged all the good regret songs :) (great list)
Have a good day my friend.
S.K.

Cheryl Houston said...

Well, this is disappointing. I so enjoy logging on every morning and reading your posts of sarcasm slamming your friends, mom and husband.

And, we’re cool! Bloggers are cool! And blog commenters are the coolest of ALL! Don’t let anyone tell you different. Being called a geek is no longer bad! Well, that’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

Regrets, huh? Oh, God! Where do I start?!!?
80’s TV show most missed- Hart to Hart. Too many bad haircuts to just pick one. I do regret doing the Wall of Bangs sprouting from the top of my forehead. I overslept for my Senior Photos and yea- they look like crap. My first time- no regrets. My second- I regret not being with him more! There’s a bunch of times I regret after the second. One of the songs that could describe my life is No One is to Blame by Howard Jones… "You’re the fastest runner but you’re not allowed to win." Damn! That’s depressing! We have to pick a more uplifting topic!!!!

Unknown said...

Thanks for the post fodder. See my blog.

BTW, Cinderella's "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)".

Arjun said...

Hey....just thought this was funny but look up "trish weidig blog" on google and look at the 3rd or 4th one.

Like...how does google work now a days!!?

Trish said...

GO TO KUJ's BLOG! We're all having a grand time regretting there!!

Anonymous said...

I'm posting here, just to say i did, around 10pm on a monday night, procrastinating Math, Bio, and English homework.


I regret regretting procrastinating.


HTMLTAGS

so this is where the time is spent when we dont get papers back for a long time ;)

Arjun said...

hey, i got selected for the Creative Communications poetry contest publication thing. and now im in the top 50's or whatever to be voted on online. Just wondering if this is the fake one we talked about or is this legit...?

Sue G said...

Hmmmm. Looks like your page runneth over with students. :-)

My only regret is that I got hooked on reading a blog by a person who now says she won't be blogging much for a while. Sigh. :-(

Anonymous said...

Good Morning, Trish!
How's the play? And the class? So you probably know that tomorrow is June first. I was just wondering - when you said no relief until June, did you mean the beginning of June, middle, or end of June? Or did I misread that entirely and you meant June 2009?

Miss ya!
S.K.

katina said...

sigh...yeah I think she meant June 2009.

Unknown said...

Should I do balloon animals?

Cheryl Houston said...

It's June! Did you mean first of June or end of June?

Hope all is going well.

Anonymous said...

(katina,
I regret to say I think I agree with you)

hey, should we start a pool, like when someone has a baby?

ok, day of week, month, obviously YEAR, that we think our fine friend Trish will rejoin the blogosphere...

(you know I'm kidding, right?)
hear from ya soon? S.K.

Hope all's well... :D