One of my coworkers discovered an article in a literary journal lauding the value of brevity. The author’s theory was that people today do not have time for details. As a working mom, I have to admit that my brain seems to delete a lot of extraneous information—like where I put my keys, which is why I spent forty frantic minutes at work one evening rummaging in my purse, my desk drawer, the bathroom, my jacket pockets, etc. only to find them locked in my car. (Sadly, I did the exact same thing the VERY NEXT DAY.)
The journal article explained that busy people want information in its purest form. Enter the “Six Word Bio.” The idea is, rather than tell your entire life story, condense your autobiography into six words.
Here are my attempts:
Miscalclated cycle. Now has two kids.
70's child. Can't take life serious.
Eats words. Drinks dreams. Sorta' psychic.
Oooh, how about some six word bios for the rich and famous? (Warning: Snark Alert!)
Oprah: Laugh, but I rule American TV....
Gwyneth Paltrow: What was I thinking with Apple??
Tom Cruise: We know you're gay, little man.
Nicole Ritchie: You HAVE to eat when pregnant??!
Laurie on The Real Housewives of Orange County : Sneezed and my face fell off.
Paris Hilton: Found God in prison. Lost him.
Martha Stewart: Prison got me free advertising, ha!
Donald Trump: Comb-overed homophobe seeks new reality series.
Bill Clinton: Monica! Now I sleep with president?!
Marry Manilow: Oh Mandy! Bo-tox has frozen my faaaaaa- aaace !
Barry Bonds: What's wrong with a little 'roid??
Abe Lincoln: This play is so booooooring.... Whoa!
Care to give it a try?
12 comments:
I am easily amused. By Farts.
Kuj,
I HOWLED when I read this in the office! Frightened coworkers. Clearly, Josh gets his appreciation for potty humor from me.
(Is Josh 'kuj'?) I always have a problem on blogs when I don't know who's who.
Clearly, you have WAAAAAY more functioning brain cells than me. Very funny.
I, too, am easily amused. By same.
Karla with a K,
Josh is my three year old son.
Kuj is a reader in Wisconsin.
Kuj, Josh, and I all seem to appreciate fart jokes. Josh's age makes this understandable. I blame my frequently congested sinuses (which often render me incapable of smell) and my rampant immaturity for my appreciation.
I don't know what Kuj's excuse is. What IS your excuse, Kuj?
Stifled by my fear of failure.
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Easy going, shy cutie wanting more.
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Happy to know I have plenty.
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Please. Keep your farts to yourself.
:)
I'm surrounded by melodic farters who are able to perform with deadpan hilarity. The smell? Not funny.
I live in a house with my brother who is more frequently STINKY than melodic. I'm planning to start marketing a breathe-right style strip that hangs in your nostrils and smells like mint chocolate chip ice cream. Or lavender.
Interestingly, I think that's where nosegays got their start. Victorian women held small bouquets under their noses when the funk of unwashed fellow Victorians threatened to overwhelm. Bathing, you see, was the devil's work then.
...huh. I'm easily amused by farts, but you still learned something from me anyway. Does that qualify me as an enigma?
Also, I am a DEVOTED READER. Notice my red dot has swelled to the size of a large zit.
Two, four, six, eight...EVERYONE flatulates!
Okay, I tried. Six words. Pay attention to the subject matter, no matter what it is (I think we have to keep our eye on kuj).
Not as funny in retirement, am I???? Sigh.
really ready to win the lottery...
Sue, I found it easily amusing. :)
Kuj, I like you already!
Trish! They were talking about this very topic on the radio this morning and I thought of you! I was telling the DJ, Trish already covered that!
Cheryl,
NO WAY! They talked about 6 word bios on the radio?? Does this mean that I am "cutting edge"?! Thanks for telling the DJ about it. Maybe this will lead to more dots in the Six Degrees of Un-Separation Project? Who knows??
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