Yesterday many dear friends sent me a viral FB email directing women to type the color of the bra they were wearing into their status in order to bring more awareness to breast cancer.
It's a nice effort, right? But those of you who know me well know that I have a serious problem: SNARKINESS.
So, instead of being a nice person who gamely divulges the hues of her undergarments in vague support of a cause, I became Snarky Trish and quipped, "What will typing a bunch of colors in a status field realistically do to cure breast cancer?? Some college guy is probably sitting in his dorm room right now eating cheap pizza and implementing a multi-phased plan to get women to bare their ta ta's. Phase One: Get women to post the color of their underwear to 'raise awareness of breast cancer.' Phase Two: Once women are comfortable with describing their undergarments, begin the second phase of the diabolical plan-- get women to post PHOTOS of their bras to raise breast cancer awareness. Phase Three: Get women to post photos of them WEARING their bras in support of breast cancer awareness. Well, you won't get me, Dorky College Dude!"
In response, I created a satirical version of the breast cancer awareness email, and here it is:
We are trying to bring awareness to Tourette's Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder characterized by involuntary, spontaneous, and repetitive muscle and verbal tics. In its most extreme form, Tourette's can cause coprolalia (a spontaneous outburst of swear words). To help bring awareness to this disorder, please post a mild profanity in your status. Then, copy and paste this email to your friends. We CAN make people aware of this problem, and we WILL find a cure for Tourette's. Your profanity can help.
Feel free to cut and paste this into your FB email. I'm kind of interested in how long it will take for Tourette's Awareness to go viral, be translated into multiple languages, and become the WHO's next cause du jour.
Still, I want to see Dorky College Dude get his comeuppance. Ideas for how to target him? Post them in the comments section.
Oh, and Dorky College Dude? Too bad you'll never get to Phase Three of your diabolical plan. Because my ta ta's? Are F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.
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6 comments:
You rebel, you!
Sh!t.
Welcome back!
Work! In case it's not clear, that's my swear word.
Have you had implants since I last saw you?
Just wondering....
@Sue: Oh, did I leave out the last word in my post? It was supposed to end "fabulously small." Huh. I wonder what happened? ;). (from Trish typing on her cell)
Welcome back to blogging... Where have you been for 9 months? Woah... You are not pregnant again are you?
Bollocks!
That would be a LOVELY name for the third boy. "Josh! Noah! Stop feeding Bollocks to the ants!"
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