The Plea I Meant To Send to You All on Friday.

I'm in trouble.

I have to tell a friend of mine that I can’t go with her to see an 80’s cover band play Saturday night because I made prior plans that I forgot about. (Finally, music I would know all the words to, and I can’t go! Where my old, ripped jean jacket and Bruce Springsteen t-shirt will be in style! Where my white-girl overbite will look chic! Oh, who am I kidding? The overbite will never look chic; it was cool for three hours in mid-1987, and I think I was having my braces tightened at the time.)

The thing is, I hate to disappoint the friend. Sure, I can tell myself that it was only a tentative agreement to see the band because I DID say I needed to check my calendar, which was not with me, but there is one thing wrong with that: I don’t technically have a calendar, and I was joking when I said it. See, I usually tell myself I need to write things down on a calendar…and then I forget and leave it up to my friends and family to call and remind me.

Yeah…I know. I suck.

But you are being judgmental! So there. I suck, and you are condemnatory-- now, can you please let go of your righteousness and climb off your soapbox in order to help me with my crisis?

So, how do I tell the friend?

Maybe she won’t be mad when I tell her that the previous commitment is for a charity event? (Of course, the charity is technically going to my other friend, Lauren, who needs fifteen people to show up at a purse party in order to get a free purse of her choice…. Still, charity is charity, and we shouldn’t judge Lauren-- or her obsession with handbags.)

Plus, I am an integral part of the charity event. (I told Lauren I would not come unless the purse rep brought a wide selection of animal print Dooney and Bourke [inspired] bags, and Lauren went to great lengths to ensure that a significant number of said bags were available and destined for her party.)

Further, I would have called sooner to cancel our tentative plans, but I became caught up in a sticky situation at work that had to be resolved. (I spent a great deal of time eating chocolate at my desk worrying about how to tell the friend I have to cancel.)

Last, I became terribly ill. (With cramps.)

So, you see it simply is not my fault that I can’t go!

(God, at this rate I won’t have any friends left.)

What do I do??