Though the wittle and daub suggestion for sealing the rotting window sill and surrounding casing was an interesting one (Kristy!), I am all out of animal dung and, as we all know, wittle and daub just doesn’t adhere well without a good dose of dung. Looks like I’ll need to replace that window after all.
The architect dropped off the plans for the exterior remodel, and they look fan-tas-tic. They involve building a new gable, building a new stone column at the entry way, adding stonework to the exterior, replacing the siding with cedar and shingles, installing new gutters, replacing the bay windows, replacing the front windows, installing two sets of French doors, removing a beam above the front door and relocating it to the attic, replacing the garage door, replacing the front door, installing new shutters, and installing new windows in the kitchen where there is currently wall. This will be a phase-in plan that will take us about seven years to complete. Each year, we will tackle and pay for a new portion of the project, which will be a little easier on the pocketbook…and my credit.
You know what this means, right? Fewer shoes. Dear Lord, just typing that phrase made the breath catch in my throat a little. I am trying to control the rising hysteria. I mean, autumn is approaching, and I need new leather boots. And I can’t just get basic black, either. I’ll need brown, too. Chocolate is the new black, I hear. My old boots are getting ratty and have the pointy toes, and pointy toes were so last year. Heck, pointy toes were TWO YEARS ago.
I foresee a situation where I am plastered against the shoe stores on Michigan Avenue, drooling on the glass. (sigh….)
Well, there’s only one thing to do: sell my body. And by “body,” I mean organs. Hmmmm…what is the function of a gallbladder? Do I need it, or is it one of those organs that are thrown in there for aesthetics, like the appendix? And which organ is it that spontaneously regrows? Is that the liver? Looks like that organ could be a cash cow!
The architect dropped off the plans for the exterior remodel, and they look fan-tas-tic. They involve building a new gable, building a new stone column at the entry way, adding stonework to the exterior, replacing the siding with cedar and shingles, installing new gutters, replacing the bay windows, replacing the front windows, installing two sets of French doors, removing a beam above the front door and relocating it to the attic, replacing the garage door, replacing the front door, installing new shutters, and installing new windows in the kitchen where there is currently wall. This will be a phase-in plan that will take us about seven years to complete. Each year, we will tackle and pay for a new portion of the project, which will be a little easier on the pocketbook…and my credit.
You know what this means, right? Fewer shoes. Dear Lord, just typing that phrase made the breath catch in my throat a little. I am trying to control the rising hysteria. I mean, autumn is approaching, and I need new leather boots. And I can’t just get basic black, either. I’ll need brown, too. Chocolate is the new black, I hear. My old boots are getting ratty and have the pointy toes, and pointy toes were so last year. Heck, pointy toes were TWO YEARS ago.
I foresee a situation where I am plastered against the shoe stores on Michigan Avenue, drooling on the glass. (sigh….)
Well, there’s only one thing to do: sell my body. And by “body,” I mean organs. Hmmmm…what is the function of a gallbladder? Do I need it, or is it one of those organs that are thrown in there for aesthetics, like the appendix? And which organ is it that spontaneously regrows? Is that the liver? Looks like that organ could be a cash cow!
6 comments:
What about selling your eggs? Or hell... make your husband sell his sperm or plasma or something!
Eggs? Who'd want the eggs of a (nearly) thirty-five year old with bad eye sight? I'd have to give those away....
You might have something there with the plasma, though. I wonder how much Scott could get for a couple of quarts? Wait-- how much plasma can one remove without dying? I don't want Scott to endanger his life. I'm okay with him falling unconscious, though. I've been wanting to manscape him a little bit, and I figure the only way I'll get him to let me is if he's passed out. There is no way he's letting me near him with a pair of tweezers, a razor, and hot wax while he is lucid.
When I first read "plasma" I immediately thought of the TV and was scared you would be going without cable!
As someone who is so not up on fashion, what toe style IS in for the fall? I have every imaginable toe in the closet in black, so I am prepared for anything! Although I am in the market for a new black leather ankle boot. I am still wearing the same chunky-heel squareish toe model I bought in 2003. They are scuffed, but I so love them for everyday wear.
Does this mean that my square toed black boots will be back in again??
And you're selling sperm? It/They didn't work to cohesively help with the wood window issue? Or is there something more you're not telling us?
1) Have Scott sell platelets. Plasmapheresis takes them out and returns his whole blood to him in the process. Thus, I believe he can donate daily.
2) Ummm, as for selling your organs, put me down for one kidney, please. Thanks in advance.
Good idea, Sue. I want dibs on the liver...mine's in much worse shape. Oh, wait...
I'm no fashionista, but I believe these are a classic look that never goes out of style...mainly because I ride in them.
http://www.sha-sha.com/2003/images/shoes/tribalboot_black-blue.jpg
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