Thursday, September 11, 2008

Scott Hates Sarah J.

Last night was one of those rare moments when Scott and I were able to get both kids down for the night without feeling as though we, too, had to stumble in the direction of our own pillows. We both felt as though we had enough energy to sprawl on the couch and stare blankly in the direction of the television, which is how we ended up watching Failure to Launch, a romantic comedy featuring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. (By the way, I take back what I previously posted about Matthew. He may have a very nice looking chest, but he’s got some sort of weird eye thing going on that nixes our fantasy love affair. Besides, my heart belongs to Scott.) [<--Can’t be too careful with my birthday approaching, can I??] It was then that I found out that my husband has a deep-seated dislike for Sarah J.

“She has weird lips.”
“Her face is too long.”
“Her voice sounds like the whine of a power saw.”
“She has ‘man hands.’”
“She’s kind of wrinkled. Too much sun exposure in her youth.”
“Are those moles on her chin or two big zits?”

Scott went on and on.

Okay, I am not one of those who jumped on the Sex and the City bandwagon, so I consider myself fairly unbiased where Sarah J. is concerned. In fact, I associate her with Square Pegs--which dates me, I know. While I can see Scott’s point about the man hands (seriously, check them out—very masculine—she could palm a regulation basketball), I don’t think Sarah J. quite deserves the diatribe Scott threw her way. Sarah Jessica Parker strikes me as a woman who has done a lot with what she was born. For example, that nose doesn’t look altered. (*cough* Don’t look too closely at mine…. *cough*) Those lips don’t scream “injected with my own butt fat.” And you have to respect someone comfortable enough in her own skin that she doesn’t remove those moles. And you hardly notice the man hands because she plays up her good features: hair and eyes.

So, here’s to the people who make the most of what they’ve got! To the men with beer bellies and great hair, or baldness and kind souls. To women with small breasts and great senses of humor, or large thighs and big hearts.

Shine on, Sarah J. Shine on….

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Man Hands. I'm right there with the husband.

Also, Madonna. Yech.

Anonymous said...

Must be where all those fat injections are going...the hands. Who knows why, they're celebraties.