I woke up to the sound of the thunder and rain that would later turn my perfectly coiffed blow dry into a swamp of auburn weeds reminiscent of something one of the witches would sport in Macbeth. After arriving at work, I enthusiastically stepped forward into my first day of healthier eating by making some organic oatmeal in the office microwave rather than purchasing my usual blueberry scone at Starbucks. However, when I opened the door of said appliance, I immediately noticed that the inside of the microwave had splatters of a brown crusty substance and smelled very much like a horse. (Clearly, my coworkers are into exotic food choices.) While my oatmeal began to nuke, I pondered when the last time this barnyard smelling domestic device was last cleaned and by whom. That was when I noticed my cup of oatmeal runneth over, so to speak.
Guess who became the next cleaner of the horsy-smelling microwave?
I dragged the oversized glass microwave turntable down to the nearest bathroom and attempted to clean the sticky oatmeal and burnt horse off of it using tepid water and paper towels, the only supplies available. Unfortunately, the sink was much too small to accommodate the turntable, so I removed most of the gunk with my fingernails. Bye bye, manicure. After replacing the now de-horsed and de-oatmealed plate to the microwave, I returned to the bathroom to attempt to take care of the horse-meal mess clogging up the drain in the bathroom sink. ONLY THE SINKS IN MY BUILDING TURN ON AUTOMATICALLY, reducing my cleaning attempts to feeble swipes with paper towels before the automatic faucet sprayed me yet again. This left me with only one option: outsmart the automatic sink.
It turns out that in a battle with automated plumbing I am fairly well matched.
JUMP OUT
SWIPE
JUMP BACK
WATER SPRAY
JUMP OUT
SWIPE
JUMP BACK
WATER SPRAY
I think I now understand why healthy eating is so good for the body. Not only was I left with approximately HALF of my oatmeal portion, but I got a good workout.
How was YOUR morning?
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4 comments:
Love, love, love your sink story. We have those stupid sinks at work also and they are such a PITA.
Signed,
Still Stalking
(since my cousin hasn't updated)
xo
She may not be updating because she is diligently working on my request for Mostly Naked to show some man-package in the altered photo she recently posted. I envision her laboriously and painstakingly creating photo-editting wonders on her laptop. Atleast...I HOPE that's what she's doing....
I just figured out what "PITA" means, and all because of a cup of oats as a meal, that came straight from the horses mouth somehow to create a stink when nuked.
Can't talk...I'm in the middle of a photo shoot.
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