This is what I call the third trimester of pregnancy-- when the daily lumber from the bathroom to the closet is filled with trepidation. Will the item I wore last week still fit? Is it possible that I have outgrown my granny panties? Will my recently purchased industrial strength bra accommodate my chest, or should I simply carry my breasts around like misbehaving puppies?
Currently, my place of employment is burgeoning with glowing soon-to-be-moms. They are all surprisingly well dressed, which sort of makes me look bad since I was the queen of “Yeah-These-Are-My-Husband’s-Pajamas-Don’t-Bug-Me-About-It-Or-I-Will-Give-You-A-Tonsilectomy-With-My-Fist.” As these moms approach their third trimester, I look forward to some creative fashion forward ideas, like shoe wear brought to you by Glad Garbage Bags to house swollen feet and shawls by Wamsutta.
Ah…pregnant women everywhere, may the fashion gods be with you. And may the lycra in your granny panties stretch.
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5 comments:
Actually, I lost weight with all three of my pregnancies and came out thinner than before those little sperm hit the target. I think those nine months (x 3) were the only time in my life that eating for two actually worked for me.
Sigh. The good old days.
Ah, this just took me back 19 years! I woke up one night back then and found my wife missing from our bed. I found her standing next to the crib that would soon hold our third child. Granny panties and all, she stood there simply looking beautiful. I'm not sure any amount of fashion can help make a prenant woman more beautiful than they already are. So, after reading this post and in a sentimental moment last night, I asked my wife what she thought about having another baby. I've never received an icy stare from her before and the subsequent ice crystals that formed on every square inch of furniture in our bedroom was quite spectacular to behold! I do get it. You may not think of yourselves as beautiful, but I believe most men do, industrial strength bra and all!
Who's this guy? And where can I get one?
Damn! The good ones are always already taken!
Hurrumph-da-Dah!!
Don't mock the single woman without child, nor discount her child rearing knowledge, nor her gratefulness for not having an alien life trash her body. We can get it, too (and still envy the granny panites since they come complete with child you can't help but adore). At least, in a trade of no child, I get to keep my bladder in place; hence , I'll have better control for many years. But you got the sweetest smiles ever .
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