You know how I said that Jon and Kate Plus 8 has inspired me to brave the wilds of the grass off our patio once the weather warms up?
Well...
It turns out I had been watching one of their older episodes, from back when they were slumming it.
More recent airings of Jon and Kate Plus 8 show that they have progressed far beyond camping out in the backyard and roasting marshmallows over a fire pit. In their last episode, they were taking their brood to Disney World and then jetting off to Hawaii. Not that I am envious. (I am.)
While I am all for scrapping the sleeping bags and heading off to a pacific atoll, Maui is a little beyond our reach at the moment. Instead, we are looking at a stay-cation this summer while we implement the next phase of our home improvement goals. However, that doesn't mean our backyard camping foray has to be entirely without luxuries. I took into consideration all of your cautionary advice and matched that to my clinically low pain tolerance. The result? The tent pictured above.
I'll probably get a hot stone massage the afternoon of the camp out to prep for the event. And a pedicure will probably be in order, since it is quite likely I will have to wear my Kate Spade flip flops as I traverse from the pavers to the tent. Also, I know my limits; I will only take baby camping steps. My plan will ensure that I won't be more than ten steps away from my back door the entire time-- in case I need to use the bathroom or check what reality shows are airing that night on cable. (My remote works from the patio, so technically I could watch television from my air mattress.) I will also have my cell phone and iPod charged in case I need to call for emergency help or drown out the sound of crickets. The best part of the plan involves deterring the vengeance of the raccoons. While googling "how to slaughter raccoons," I stumbled across a website that sells 100% pure coyote urine. (http://www.predatorpee.com/) In fact, according to the website, not only will I be free of raccoons, but any stray iguana in the area will avoid our yard, as well!
I can't help wondering, however, how this company collects the coyote urine?
2 comments:
Coyote urinals?
Well, it seems like just yesterday you were blogging about the little guy being ambulatory and the chaos that created, so I imagine a tent at night in the backyard--no real doors--no childproof locks--no manner of restraint beyond a shoelace and a spike--well, let's just say it should be an interesting night.
Three boys and a girl in a tent. Oh, flatulence, thy name is...?
hehehe, my mom got that predator pee stuff once from the garden center to keep the rabbits from eating her plants. it didn't work nearly as well as having a dog did.
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